books by rank

See my about me page to see exactly how I rate books (I’ll give you a hint: my book-rating system is more or less like Colbert’s truthiness-o-meter; if my gut says it’s a good book, then it is).

10 out of 10 : This book carries me into paroxysms of happiness.  I will read it a million times over and still be mightily impressed by the quality of the writing and awed/overjoyed/weepy/exaggeratedly emotional, even on the million-and-oneth time I read it.

9 out of 10 : Go out and buy this keeper.  This book has the éclat of a new classic and, apart from a few itty-bitty personal scruples, is darn near perfect.

8 out of 10 : Oooh, man, we’re getting hotter: this book is within a stone’s throw of flawless and falls well within the range of amazing.

7 out of 10 : This book warms my cockles.  It is fun, it’s probably fairly deep, the plot is plotty, the characters feel real, it makes me ponder ponderous thoughts, and I’d probably recommend it to just about anybody.

6 out of 10 : Pretty good.  Good enough to be above the half-way mark, at least; I usually reserve a 6 for something that you’d find in the sunscreen section of a grocery store: one of those gripping, slightly trashy, lite-readers-r-us type books you finish in an hour (which you consider a breezy hour well spent).  You know the type.

5 out of 10 : I just can’t be bothered to hop off the meh-fence of giving this book a 5: it’s OK, I guess; it is probably mildly entertaining, fairly run-of-the-mill, and what’s it about, again?

4 out of 10 : I’m feeling a little tepid.

3 out of 10 : This book is one well loved by the general populace, and even though I felt a deep loathing and/or malaise regarding this book, I feel like I have to bow to social pressure and give it a few points in the acknowledgement that, while this book didn’t light my particular pipe, it may well be your one and only.  Don’t hate on me, please.

2 out of 10 : Well, I get a sort-of urgle-gurgle feeling in the pit of my stomach thinking about how many minutes of my life I wasted on this book that I’ll never get back, but at least I finished the damn thing.

1 out of 10 : The pages of this book would have served a better purpose as toilet paper.  Sooooooooo terrible, it’s almost awesome.

Ø out of 10 : Did not finish.


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